A journey of self-appreciation and being ‘out’

I know this is a ‘day in the life’ and I’m kinda ranting, but I think I’ll use the DITL as my page of ‘personal’ issues.

Hi, so, new school, new people, new environment. As briefly touched on in my school post, I’ve never had a particularly high opinion of myself, which is obviously stupid because, in retrospect, I’m essentially perfect. I got a lot of shit for being offensive and defensive at Nishimiya, but, statistically speaking, we’re all very different people, and the chances of getting along with everybody are pretty much 0. I like to think I surround myself with the right people, people who’s personalities work with mine, instead of forcing friendship, just because we both like make up or a certain shitty band. Also, I’m honest. And a lot of people can’t take that. I don’t want to be seen as a ‘fake’ person, that’s the last thing I want. However I’m mostly honest because it’s so much easier than skirting around issues, or telling white lies just to keep people happy. Lastly, being honest means that when you say something positive, people know you genuinely mean it, and that it comes from a place of true caring.

I like to think that I’m becoming a better person, or maybe that I’m just starting to appreciate that I have my own brand of awesome, and it’s totally OK to be who I am.

My second point today, is about being ‘out’ as (like 95%) gay. At Nishimiya, I was very obviously out, because of my relationship with Drew (as in Nancy Drew, that’s her code name now), and it made me feel really uncomfortable at school. Everywhere I went I was whispered about, pointed at, and occasionally asked intrusive and icky questions. Worst of all, my sister was bullied, physically and verbally, for me being openly gay. Now that I’m in a safer environment (there’s posters on bisexuality up in the bathrooms which is awesomesauce), and I don’t have to fear for the safety of my sister, I don’t think it’ll be too scary to be out at New School. Having said that, I’ve got to make friends to be out to first, so I guess I’ve got a few more weeks wearing the mask of heterosexuality before I can let my true colors shine. Agent Z is in the same boat as me, which is comforting in a weird way, and she had a horrible experience being outed at Nishimaya, if you remember? So, we’re treading carefully. I think it’s best to just not actively tell anybody, but if they ask, I’m not going to lie.

~Lady Rainicorn

First week of A-Levels

So, this week heralded the arrival of A-Levels- the fabled exams we have been dreaming of since year seven (that’s probably just me, I love exams, like the actual exams, not revision or lessons).  I’m finally beginning to feel a little bit proud of the work I’ve done (shh, I did do some work), over the last few years, instead of constantly putting myself down.  It’s all culminating in these two years, and then off to Uni we go, off to very nearly real life.  I haven’t had a lesson in all of my subjects yet, so I’ll do a quick summary of the ones I have, then let you know a bit about school life- which is super duper awesome by the way.

First off is Maths.  As you know, I’ve basically been fucked over by my old school in that I was left in a lower set way below my ability level, and then when they finally realized I could add, I was pushed up to the top set way too fast.  This has meant that I struggle with a lot of basic material, and I’m therefore easily frustrated.  Especially algebra. Why? Why, do we need to put letters in? It’s already ridiculous enough, and now we’ve got imaginary numbers that generally equal -1 or -(square root)9/4.  Just stop, Maths. Pause and think. If you have 50 melons, then x=50. Don’t over think it.

Secondly, Computing.  OK, so there’s about 20 people in the class, and only 3 girls, which is incredibly strange.  The material is pretty much what I did for theory at GCSE, except a lot more in depth, and some of it’s more practical- coding, etc etc.  I’m doing a group project with *gasp* three boys, and now I say that, I must email Mark with my contribution after this! Also paint my nails… I’m getting side-tracked. OK, focus, the teacher is a really lovely chatty, smiley lady who I walked into in the hallway earlier today- oops! I think I’m going to get along really well with her and the class in general.  Also current school (can you do the code name I’m too lazy) has a way better computer system than my old school, literally a thousand times better.

Lastly, English.  Well, I don’t know where to start.  I’ve only had one lesson, and I’m sat on a table with three other girls, and we all got along pretty well and bounces ideas around nicely.  The teacher (one of two), is quite chatty and relatively engaging, but he doesn’t have anything on the way Mrs G can talk about the most insignificant word! We’re doing Seamus Heaney first, and then comparing him to another poet who’s name I’ve forgotten.  Are you doing the same? We’re on WJEC, so I guess you are as well? If so, we must commence some form of study group.  I miss you.  My little dictionary sat on my desk, and I swear I heard it sniffling as it held back sobs of pain at your loss.  That’s not true, it was me crying, not the dictionary, it’s an inanimate object.

I haven’t had a Law lesson yet, but I will tell you all about it when I do.

OK, so I’m going to try and squeeze in as much as I can remember about the school. Here goes; I only register on Monday mornings (so the other days I don’t need to go in until 9), assembly is every other Thursday, on Fridays lessons end at 2.15, on normal days at 3.15, the common room is huge, almost always full of people, there’s an iPod dock and people were playing Abba and Busted but mostly it’s just normal background music, we have tutorials at least once a term, which is like target day I think, but more personal, less about just your grades, the library has those little dividers like in History Boys, and you can listen to music and she doesn’t seem to mind people eating sweets and stuff (I think it’s against the rules but she (the librarian) isn’t all that strict), also it’s always quiet, there’s a lot of boys, and I’ve made friends with one boy called Mark who is quite loud but not in an obnoxious way, also Matt, who is his friend and a bit aloof but so far nice, and on that note, I’ve been trying very very hard to be amicable to everybody, introducing myself lots and making jokes about the weather (in true British form), Agent Z had a bit of a panic moment today, but I had mine on Thursday, and after a weekend to calm down and process, I think we’re both going to be fine, I’m pretty sure I want to do that Access Bristol University thing, probably for English at this point, I’m going to join quite a few clubs/societies to meet people and pad out my personal statement, and disregarding the fact that this was the longest and most grammatically inaccurate sentence I’ve ever written (which is saying a lot), I hope this has given you some insight into my new and only slightly terrifying academic life.

I’m 100% positive I made the right choice in moving, and that’s all that matters.

~Lady Rainicorn

” Nobody in football…

” Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
– Joe Theismann

Oh, I was so pissed off today. Majorly annoyed at the commotion outside my house. Football, it has occurred to me, is not a quite event at all.

Normally, I would expect the fans to keep it to the field, and make sure by the time they’re out of the match, they’ve vented all their frustration from watching some guys kick a ball a grassy field. However, today (Heaven forbid there be anther Bristol Rovers event) the pub opposite my house was overwhelmed by the amount of rowdy fans who were chanting and singing. FML.

Not only was my IQ significantly lowered – and no, Anderson was not nearby. But I was oddly reminded of my own childhood. I spent my time, as a 5 (approx.) year old, in school, playing, singing and clapping to many of the tunes the crowd of grown men were attempting to rally their spirits with today. Except, I was 5, and in an all girls’ school. Well done. You’ve done ‘your’ sport proud.

Not to mention the amount of police involved. Thank you for surrounding the pub and making sure they know you’re there. But please either kick their asses or Taser them all for crying out loud. People might just get the idea that you’re incompetent if you don’t act while a riot is essentially taking place at an establishment where men are likely to get intoxicated.

Ironically. This was all before the match. I pray for those who have to endure the aftermath. And myself. Let’s not forget to pity me. -_-

This quote… at first glance, is reasonably acceptable. Until you realise, there is no such genius as ‘Norman Einstein’. Nor is the person I’m quoting a ‘genius’ either. No, I think his statement is quite valid. After all, he is a former American quarterback and a professional sports caster. Let’s not forget that their football is not our football. Britain takes precedence because it was INVENTED BY US!  No wonder your all football fans are slightly gifted in the ‘hooligans and gasheads’ department. Fact: The former descriptive and colourful words were used by two of my friends today describing them.

I respect your sport because it has a long history. However, this whole thing cements the idea that only those who are either not talented enough to find other interests or were lacking in the physiological area likes football.

~ Persephone 

P.S. I hope you’re all happy. 

Almost First Day

So, today was my first day (mostly paperwork) of school without you, P. There are over 200 pupils in my year, and the whole building is stiflingly hot all the time.  Boys are not that scary, trust me, they are just normal people- ok, maybe except this one boy who has 13 GCSEs.

The teachers are all very helpful, talkative and nice, which is a change from the often quite scary staff at your school! I’ll find out more about clubs and teams tomorrow, but there seem to be lots of opportunities, so hopefully I’ll join some groups and make new friends *terrified face*.

I’ve also got a train pass, in which I look like an extra from the cast of the Walking Dead, so that’ll be lovely to wake up to every morning.

This was a vaguely pointless post, just wanted to let you know that everything went fine, and I’m finding out more about my one true love of Russian tomorrow.  Last but not least, I miss you so much, this is way too hard without the respite of our little lunch club, I think I might have to re-think my NYU plans so we can live together for uni….

~Lady Rainicorn

A-Levels for September

Okay, I guess I’ve never told anyone about my A-Levels, even though Lady R has. As it is now officially September, and school is looming on the horizon, I figured I’d write a bit about my coming year!

English Literature – Haha, this was the only definite in my choices. I could not imagine a future where I’m not doing anything remotely related to English. However, I just have to say that, although it is not my mother tongue, and I’m certainly not half bad at the subject, many people shy away from this, simply because of the ‘overanalysing’ of literature, which is true. It pains me to enjoy and loathe lessons so much because of the way we now have next to no time to read through the set texts!

History – Oh gosh, this was a hard decision. Originally, I wanted to do Classical Civilisation, but my school never ran it. I’m not really that disappointed, but I knew that doing History would mean remembering a lot of things… It’s not actually that bad? Because I could really be in Hong Kong, and trying to even remember the dynasties of Chinese history is tough for me. All 4000 years of it!

Biology – This kind of ties in with Chemistry, since my uncle had a PhD doing Biochemistry at university, amongst other research (which I’ve forgotten) but is based on traditional Chinese medicine and having been to the labs – is amazing. So I’m simply not ruling out the option of having a science-based career. And because I loved learning about DNA and Punnett squares. ^-^

Chemistry – Now, clearly I’m not as interested in Maths as Lady R. Neither do I have a particular interest in Physics. Shame really. Natural sciences? My 6th form at Nishimiya doesn’t have the variety of subjects at the school Lady R now attends, but I’m thinking it’s for the best. Specialising in anything too early cuts out lots of options. *cough* No offense?

All in all, I think I chose subjects that I’ll enjoy in the long run. I’m also looking to continue studying a little Japanese on the side, and who knows? Maybe I can find a career which ties all these things in? Obviously, I’d want a job related to my interests too, so… Uhh~ I don’t know… I’ll get to it when I get to it.

~ Persephone

P.S. Oh, and for future reference, since we’re doing as much of this blog as possible incognito, all you need to know is that I went (as did Lady R) to a girls’ school in England. Which will be known as Nishimiya Girls’ High School – from a manga which I would love if anyone realised the reference, but it’s okay if you don’t. Challenge time? Hint: it’s shojo, and has a colour in the name and here are the main characters~

Handshake Time!

A part of Summer is always spent in solitude. At least, for me, it is. Why? I believe that one of the purposes of the Summer holidays is not only to relax, but also to give you time away from your friends.

Now, I’m not saying I don’t have any, or hate my friends. But sometimes, you have to think about how you spend most of your time with them, schoolwork and teachers. It’s a pretty depressing thought, actually. -_-

So, in order to combat that, I spend a lot of time alone during holidays. At home, with the internet. It’s also how I’m currently communicating with a friend who’s going to a different school for 6th form than I am this September (basically next week). 😦

Gyaa~ Back to the video! I personally never had ‘handshakes’ with friends. Is it more of a boy thing than a girl thing? *looks around for sexism activists* Instead, we have a plethora of inside jokes. Maybe it’s because we lack the creativity to make up such greetings rather than just going straight for the hug? Guys are against PDA between friends?

Clearly, I don’t know the answer, but I’m going about this in a Ryan-Higa way by making you read all this before getting to the crux of the video – and why it’s so good. The Cup Song! >_< It’s a parody of the Cup Song! And it’s better! Also, showing everyone all the variations of handshakes… I never knew there were so many! >_<

Now, I just need to find a friend to practise this with. Gosh it looks complicated. Maybe I should just stick to hugs. Just, fyi, the standard hug should be about 3 seconds long. Any more, and it’s going to get awkward reeeal quick.

~ Persephone

P.S. If you’re interested, there’s BTS and even a how-to on the ‘ULTIMATE HANDSHAKE’ in question. 😀