Overhead signs flicker slowly;
‘On Time’, ‘Delayed’, ‘Cancelled’.
In a place, at its very core,
A microcosm of transience,
I saw that the static,
The dragging,
The monotonous
Moments in our days
Carry the most weight.
The fleeting seconds of joy,
Hours of anger,
Are empty chasms of air.
Only once we pause,
Return to our true selves,
And become creatures of habit,
Do we yield from the harsh winters
Giving way to downy springs.
‘On Time’
I scuff my shoes across the tarmac,
‘Delayed’
Patience is a virtue they say,
‘Cancelled’
Perhaps I have been waiting too long.
~Lady Rainicorn
Author’s Note:
I hate the opening and closing lines, and am working on them, but for now they’re just pretty basic, so you get what I’m saying. Did you catch my Lord of the Flies reference? Bit sneaky. But also very relevant. Obviously I wrote this waiting for the train. Whilst analysing Heaney, I scribbled it in my poetry book, ‘shhhh’ don’t tell the teacher, anyway, all and any feedback is greatly appreciated~
Hmmm, I’m slight blind without my glasses, but I shall give you further comments in a bit.. so far, it’s great! Do you want help with the opening and closing lines? It’s probably better, in any case, to always infer things than say it outright – if that’s any use?
~ Sephy
That’s what I mean- but I can’t think of a way to infer what I’m trying to convey!! I would love help thank you! Also two likes :0 made my day ~LR
Haha, of course! People notice talent! (Well, some anyway.)
Let me think? Check email~
~ Sephy
Did I reply to this… I think so. THREE LIKES 😀
Don’t let it get to your head, your ego doesn’t need to be that big! 😛
And LotF? Yes, I get the reference, but now, I realise that being inherently evil is wrong. And I talked about it so much in my English exam, oh dear. It’s not true, but sometimes, evil finds you, that’s all.
~ Sephy
P.S. Would you be opposed to more suggestions?